you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
