morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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