I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
