Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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