I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
