Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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