Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
