Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
