it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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