listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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