who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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