every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize