Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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