I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
