nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
