it wasn't lemon gatorade
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
