I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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