operation have a gay friend backfired
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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