i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
