fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
