Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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