that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
