Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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