you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
