I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
