I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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