So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
