it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
