well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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