dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
