Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
