Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize