So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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