I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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