I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
