omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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