Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
two words: eviction party
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
