dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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