Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
