Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
