Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
