just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
