hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
