I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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