Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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