my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sex in the backyard? Check.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
