i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is Oprah even human
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
