Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
