My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
