All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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