yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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