Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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