need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I want to fling myself into the sun
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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