Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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