I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
