So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
