Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
