If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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