i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
