boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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