I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
