im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
