if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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