so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize