I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So many bounce houses so little time
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize