Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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