I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That's when you crack a 10am beer
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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