therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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