from now on my penis is your penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
