FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize