Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
