Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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