I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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