I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize