I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
