I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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