i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
