Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
