Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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