It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
