Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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