...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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